The DougMart Web Server crashed along Route 104 the week of June 5 in what local authorities said was only the latest in a string of similar incidents. "We think alcohol may have been a factor," commented State Police who responded to the scene. "We’ll have the drug test results as soon as a new Service Pack has been installed." No one was injured in the crash, although several hundred thousand kilobytes of data were filled with gravel and other road grit. DougMart's Technical Support staff was busy cleansing files with portable vacuums in the days following the incident. "I’ve seen worse," commented Shipping Manager Doug Elmore, looking on for lack of anything better to do. I worked for a company once where the server got filled with marinara sauce. I can tell you, that was worse." The File Server was adamant in its denial of any wrongdoing in the incident. "010011010100110101001101 01001101 01001101010011," it stated flatly. "0100110101001101 010011 010100 11 0101 00110101001101 01!" The File Server’s slime-oozing, reptilian lawyer requested that it comment no further on the incident, saying only, "Thissss isss a regretable incident. We wisssssh only to reach a gigantic ssssettlement in our lawsuit againsssst the Tobacco Industry." Attempts to bring the File Server’s lawyer back on topic, including feeding him several live rodents in an attempt to calm his nerves, were unsuccessful. |
