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UFO Watching. As a matter of fact, I was abducted by aliens last night who gave me an extra strength pain killer while they performed strange and bizarre sexual experiments on me. I find myself cringing now whenever the phone rings, as I'm extra sensitive now to electro-magnetic fields.
The civilizations that these aliens come from must be millions of years more advanced than ours. Either that, or they're very intelligent! My theory on why they haven't attempted to make contact with the masses, but instead choose to hover, is that for beings from this planet 'hovering' may be a socially acceptable way of communicating. This is not as far-fetched as it may seem to you, when you consider that men have 'hovered' over women since the beginning of time and seem to enjoy it.Of course there remains another possibility why they haven't made contact...Perhaps they're afraid of us. Inalienable? Human rights? It's no wonder aliens don't make contact with us. Even our language is hostile toward them. Read more... Watch Repair I have this desire to repair watches, especially digital ones. Recently I borrowed my friends Rolex and tore right into it. I wasn't overly concerned when I discovered a few extra pieces left over when I completed the job, as manufacturers are always using unnecessary parts. My friend pointed out that it didn't keep very good time anymore, so I asked him if he'd been near any extremely low frequency electric fields lately. I pointed out that such fields surround us all, probably cause cancer, and that the mole on his neck had seemed to change shape recently. Read more... Song Writing I write music. The problem is I can't read music, so I never know what I've written. Every now and then, I'll be listening to the radio, and say, "Hey, I think I may have written that."The following are songs I may have written:
1. Dancin Indiscreet
2. Bohemian Rap City
3. Help me naked through the night
4. California squirrels Read more... Sea Shell Collecting I have the worlds largest seashell collection, which I keep scattered on beaches all over the world. Read more... Astrology Some people think that astrology is stupidity personified, while others think it is merely the work of ignorant, superstitious people. What is the real truth? Who knows...anyway: This Astrologer told me after reading my horoscope that if I had been good in my past life that I would very soon be approached by Cindy Crawford who would beg me on bended knees for an opportunity to spend time worshipping the ground I walk on. It turns out I must not have been good in my past life, because what really happens is, a total stranger pulls a gun on me, demands all my money and then steals my car! The police call to tell me that they found my car and that it had been totalled, but when I show up, I find it in the condition it's always been in! Read more... |
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