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Doug Meisch is a consultant, writer, engineer, philosopher,songwriter, political analyst, and has the distinction of being the 12th man on the Buffalo Bills. Years ago, he discovered the meaning of life, but much to his dismay forgot to write it down. Meisch has been quoted as saying, "I knew it was important, but I figured I wasn't the only one to discover what the meaning of life was. It was a few years later at a cocktail party when a colleague commented on mans never ending search for lifes meaning, that I realized I'd discovered something really important, but I couldn't remember what it was for the life of me!"
Meisch's brain runs at a million megahertz a second. He can unscramble complex mathematical problems with just a glance, and has devised five methods to balance the federal budget, three ways to solve world hunger, and is in the process of reinventing the wheel. Unfortunately his job doesn't involve doing any of these things. On top of that, Meisch's brain doesn't have an adaquate heat sink to run at a million megahertz, and after about two hours it heats up and shuts down. To get back to normal he has to reboot himself, which means going back home and going to bed.
Doug Meisch is not an easily understood man. It's not that he's conceited, although he has every right to be, it's rather his apparent indifference. His indifference is sometimes mistaken for coldness, but he is capable of great compassion, and after witnessing a particularly horrible boating accident once, he couldn't finish his egg salad sandwich.
It was Meisch who first observed that the fire department never fights fire with fire, and that money never seems to clash with anything one wears. With the discovery of the concept of 'smaller sizes' by Meisch, it was proved that an object of a particular size could be reduced simply by making it smaller. Politically, Meisch is a liberal Democrat and has stated that only in a society with no inequality can there be real freedom and has cited an ant farm as a model society. As a child he would observe ants for hours and has mused, "They're truly harmonious creatures. If only their women were prettier they'd have it made." In answer to his conservative critics, Meisch is fond of pointing out Rush Limbaugh, and has been quoted as saying, "It's only when you realize that such a man is their leader, that you begin to comprehend how Moses must have felt when he came down from the mountain and found the Hebrews worshipping a cow."
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